Are You the Main Character or the Main Reason Your Life Is Falling Apart?
(Spoiler: You’re Both. You Get to Decide.)
We all love the idea of being the main character. The center of the story. The person everyone watches, roots for, and talks about long after the credits roll.
But being the main character isn’t just about aesthetic Instagram posts, romanticizing bad decisions, or living your “villain era.” Sometimes, it’s about asking yourself the hard question:
Am I actually showing up like the hero of my own story, or am I the reason my life keeps falling apart?
The truth? You’re both.
The main character isn’t perfect—they’re flawed, messy, and sometimes their own worst enemy. But they grow. They fight for themselves. And so can you.
This isn’t about pretending to have it all together—it’s about deciding who you want to be in your own narrative. Are you doing the work? Are you standing up for yourself? Are you building habits that support your goals, or are you letting your story slip through your fingers?
Let’s figure it out.
Are You Really the Main Character?
You’re already the lead in your own life—but are you acting like it?
Being the main character isn’t just about drama, doing things for the plot, or having the latest Bottega Veneta shoulder bag. It’s about owning your story, taking responsibility for your growth, and making decisions that push the plot forward.
Here’s what being the main character really looks like—and what these iconic characters can teach you:
Issa Dee (Insecure) – The Awkward Hero
Issa’s journey is about figuring it out—career, love, friendships, and self-worth. She’s messy, relatable, and painfully honest about how hard it is to grow.
Main Character Energy Means:
Embracing the awkwardness of figuring life out.
Learning that growth isn’t linear—it’s messy and uncomfortable.
Laughing through the chaos while working on becoming your best self.
Reflection: Are you allowing yourself space to grow, even when it feels uncomfortable? Are you giving yourself grace for not having it all figured out yet?
Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) – The Fighter
Katniss didn’t want to be the hero. She didn’t ask for attention or glory. But when it mattered, she stood up—for herself, her family, and what she believed in.
Main Character Energy Means:
• Fighting for your future, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Setting boundaries, even when it feels hard.
• Protecting your peace and standing up for your values.
Reflection: Are you standing up for what’s important to you, or are you letting life push you around? Are you showing up for yourself in the moments that matter most?
Rue Bennett (Euphoria) – The Inner Battle
Rue is raw, vulnerable, and honest about her struggles. She’s battling addiction, trauma, and self-destruction—but at her core, she wants connection and healing.
Main Character Energy Means:
- Acknowledging your struggles instead of running from them.
- Seeking help when you need it—therapy, support, or simply asking for a hand.
- Being brutally honest with yourself about where you are.
Reflection: Are you facing your demons, or letting them write your story? Are you numbing your pain instead of healing it?
Olivia Pope (Scandal) – The Fixer Who Can’t Fix Herself
Olivia is powerful, brilliant, and unstoppable when it comes to fixing other people’s problems. But when it comes to her own life? Chaos. She’s constantly running from vulnerability and trying to control everything around her.
Main Character Energy Means:
• Recognizing that control isn’t the same as stability.
• Allowing yourself to be vulnerable instead of holding everything together alone.
• Learning that you don’t need to be strong all the time.
Reflection: Are you so focused on helping others that you’re neglecting your own healing? Are you avoiding your emotions by staying “busy”?
Rhaenyra Targaryen (House of the Dragon) – The Rebel Leader
Rhaenyra breaks every rule set by society’s expectations. She’s bold, unapologetic, and refuses to shrink herself for anyone. But with every act of rebellion comes sacrifice—betrayal, isolation, and pain.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Living your truth, even if it’s uncomfortable for others.
• Owning your ambition without apologizing for it.
• Accepting that being true to yourself may mean losing people who don’t support your growth.
Reflection: Are you living authentically, or are you watering yourself down to fit in? Are you prepared to face the consequences of standing in your power?
Wednesday Addams (Wednesday) – The Lone Wolf
Wednesday is unapologetically herself—dark, sharp, and brutally honest. She thrives in solitude but learns that connection doesn’t weaken her; it strengthens her.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Embracing your quirks and standing out unapologetically.
•Realizing that vulnerability is strength, not weakness.
•Letting people in, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Reflection: Are you allowing yourself to form meaningful connections, or are you pushing people away out of fear?
Tony Stark (Iron Man) – The Redemption Arc
Tony is brilliant, arrogant, and reckless—but his story isn’t about ego. It’s about learning responsibility, humility, and sacrifice. He becomes the hero not by being perfect, but by growing from his mistakes.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Owning your failures without letting them define you.
•Taking responsibility for your actions and working toward growth.
•Using your talents to help others, not just boost your own ego.
Reflection: Are you letting your mistakes fuel your growth? Or are you running from accountability because it’s easier?
Walter White (Breaking Bad) – The Self-Sabotager
Walter starts with good intentions—he wants to provide for his family. But fear, pride, and ego drive him to self-destruction. His obsession with power ultimately destroys everything.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Recognizing when ambition is fueled by fear instead of passion.
•Learning when to let go of control and ego.
•Understanding that success without integrity is empty.
Reflection: Are you pursuing success for the right reasons? Are you destroying the good things in your life just to prove you’re worthy?
Frodo Baggins (Lord of the Rings) – The Reluctant Hero
Frodo never wanted to be a hero. He just wanted peace. But sometimes life hands you a burden you didn’t ask for—and being the main character means carrying it anyway.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Showing up for the hard things, even when you’re scared.
•Accepting responsibility and carrying your burdens with grace.
•Leaning on the people who support you instead of going it alone.
Reflection: Are you showing up for the challenges life has thrown at you? Are you allowing yourself to be supported on the journey?
Fleabag (Fleabag) – The Flawed Truth-Teller
Fleabag is messy, flawed, and painfully honest. She uses humor to deflect, but underneath the sarcasm is grief, guilt, and a longing for connection.
Main Character Energy Means:
•Embracing your imperfections instead of hiding them.
•Allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully, even when it hurts.
•Letting go of shame and giving yourself permission to be messy.
Reflection: Are you being honest with yourself about your pain? Are you allowing others to see the real you, or are you hiding behind distractions?
Are You Also the Reason Your Life Is Falling Apart?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, you’re the villain in your own story.
Your thoughts, habits, and choices can either build your narrative or break it down.
•Are you practicing positive self-talk, or letting negativity run the show?
•Are you actually doing the work—therapy, eating well, setting boundaries?
•Are you creating habits that support your goals, or are you letting excuses sabotage your potential?
Your story isn’t written by luck—it’s written by the choices you make every day.
You’re Both the Hero and the Obstacle—You Get to Decide
Here’s the most important truth: You are both the hero and the reason things fall apart.
And that’s not a bad thing—it’s power.
You can choose to:
•Rewrite your inner dialogue.
•Build habits that support your growth.
•Stand up for yourself, even when it’s hard.
•Be the hero who fights for your own future.
It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being brave enough to show up for your own story.
You’re already the main character.
The question is—what kind of story are you going to write next?
