COMPANION

Okay, Companion—the movie, not the new restaurant in Venice with great coffee.

I’m talking about the film written and directed by Drew Hancock.

First off, I was distracted for most of the movie because my companion stood me up. As an avid moviegoer and proud A-Lister at Nicole Kidman’s AMC, I used one of my weekly free tickets on myself and even dug deep into my wallet to cover my date’s $16 ticket—only for them to no-call, no-show. Like, is this how you handle your job too?

Lately, I’ve been stepping out—dipping my feet in the dating pool. An interesting body of water, to say the least. I was on the apps for a bit—Hinge, Tinder, Raya, Grindr. I like the people on Grindr; they get to the point. They know what they want. And plenty of ass pics! The other apps? Too many hoops. Who messages who first? When do you text back? That one picture kind of turns me off, but this one turns me on. Is that an American flag? Blah, blah, blah.

A Companion is defined as a celestial body that appears close to another but that may or may not be associated with it in space.

Some people prefer pets over humans, and honestly, I get it.

I’ve spent a lot of time lone wolfing it—many winters in Alaska, raising chickens, skiing to work—you get used to doing things on your own. There’s a balance to it, though. When you’ve spent that much time alone, your patience for bullshit gets thin. You realize you could just say, I’ll go be by myself instead. That’s so much easier than dealing with unnecessary drama. But the gag is—people always come with some level of bullshit. The question is, are you willing to look at it and say, You know what? Hell yeah. I love you anyway. Because at the end of the day, it all comes down to understanding: How much work are we putting into this? Are we in it for life, or just for right now?

Despite my momentary spiral, the movie was getting good.

There was blood everywhere, eyes rolling back, Lukas Gage on the screen. Between watching Companion, scrolling my phone (I know, Nicole, don’t get me—my date had me fucked up), and the two ladies in front of me getting lit off AMC bar drinks, I still managed to appreciate how visually stunning this film is.

The Premise?

The Companion is an advanced humanoid robot, fully customizable by its owner—from intelligence level to hair color, eye color, even the sound of its voice. Which, let’s be real, is both incredible and deeply unsettling.

If you reach the point where you’re buying a robot to love you, you've crossed a line. There’s no going back from that.

You’ve spent so much time with this "perfect-for-you" robot that suddenly, dealing with real people feels like too much work. It’s inconvenient. Your robot is always home, waiting for you. No fights, no passive-aggressive “we need to talk” texts. Just turn them on and go.

Meanwhile, a real person is like: I know you got off work at 5 PM, but you just got home at 9 PM. That’s four hours unaccounted for. Where you been?

And now we’re tracking hours.

What’s the pipeline from “I love you down” to “I’m running you down with my car”?

And what does it say about human connection when you can literally build the perfect partner instead of finding one? Yikes.

The Story

The movie follows Josh (Jack Quaid—aka Hughie from The Boys), who, along with his real human friend Kat (Megan Suri—aka Aneesa from Never Have I Ever), hatches a plan for his Companion, Iris (played by Sophie Thatcher, who absolutely killed it in Heretic), to assassinate one of his wealthy acquaintances during a friends’ weekend getaway.

There’s millions of dollars at stake. Jack Quaid is just trying to get paid. Money makes you do crazy things, which is why Josh turns on everyone for some paper.

At this point, I’ve contained myself enough to focus on the movie. I just want to mention—it’s actually good. I wasn’t distracted because of the quality of the film. I was distracted because my companion was supposed to be sitting next to me, but instead, the seat remained empty.

Almost had me ordering $15 tater tots.

Lukas Gage, who has been gracing our screens lately (Euphoria, The White Lotus, Smile 2), plays another Companion to his partner, Eli (Harvey Guillén—who also voiced Gabo in Disney’s Wish).

The movie has a 7.4 out of 10 on IMDb.

So grab your Companion—human or otherwise— have dinner at Companion and get to the theater, because, like that white lady says before every movie,  We need that. All of that.

That indescribable feeling when the lights begin to dim.